The punishment is coming for last-place fantasy football players. They know it could involve standing on a street corner while wearing a banana hammock or having their trucks wrapped with the cutest unicorn graphics you’ve ever seen.
The Internet and pioneers in this content category continue to push the boundaries of fantasy football punishment as the years pass. Now we’ve entered a period where food challenge punishments are becoming all the rage.
Clay received a letter from a fantasy football league in Oklahoma about their 24-Hour Whataburger Challenge sentence. The results are in. The league’s last-place finisher, Bruce, recently sat down at the burger joint to eat his way out of Whataburger jail.
“We are southern Oklahoma guys who have known each other for years,”Benjamin Lewis, league hype man, explains. “We have a dynasty auction-style league. In the past, bottom dwellers would trade for high-salaried or injured players to prepare for. ‘next year.’
“Some in the league hated that so we came up with a last-place finisher reward.”
Enter the Whataburger Challenge, based on 2021’s smash-hit Waffle House Challenge.
“Our lovable loser was required to spend 24 hours in the lobby of our local Whataburger,”Lewis writes. “For every kids’ meal he consumes, [Bruce]Reduces his sentence by 1 hour
“Once the hours sat and meals ate tally makes it to 24, the loser is free to go. One other rule, if you throw up, all meals eaten are reduced back to zero.”
To make the challenge even more fun, Lewis reached out to Whataburger about his challenge idea, and the burger chain’s marketing team was nice enough to bring swag, prizes, and gift cards to make Bruce’s big day that much more fun.
“Bruce thought this would be an easy challenge because we gave him the choice to choose his combination of kids’ meals,”Lewis notes. “His choices were two chicken strips, fries, and fruit snacks or kids’ hamburger, fries, and teddy grams, or a combination of the two.”
“We started at 8 am. Bruce made a fatal mistake in ordering 6 kids’ chicken meals to start the day. You’ll see that result in picture one. He powered through those in about an hour but was hurting from 9-10:15 am. The breading on the chicken and cold fries were a major hurdle.”
A quick Google search will reveal that Whataburger is available. kids’ chicken strip meal contains 940 calories. Bruce was ready for a big boy carb load as soon as he added the Teddy Grahams.
Bruce crushing those chicken strip kids’ meals, but the regret was quickly kicking in.
But, he quickly cut six hours from the 24-hour challenge.
“He made his second order at 10:30 a single kids meal hamburger, you will see in picture three that he immediately regretted that decision,”Lewis writes.
“It took him 2.5 hours to complete meal #7 on the day. He took a break until 3 pm when he was ready to bang out two more; he went with hamburgers again because the chicken breading proved to be too much. He knocked those out in 15 minutes using a new standing strategy you’ll see in picture four to bring his total to nine meals.”
A quick search reveals that the kids’ burger meal checks in at 610 calories.
Bruce changes his strategy to take advantage stomach flexibility.
“From 3:15 to 5 he hit a massive wall. At this point, he had consumed roughly 10,000 calories,”Bruce is so close to ending his misery that Lewis continues to follow Lewis.
“His goal was to out of there by 8 p.m. which would mean three more meals. From 5 to 8 he consumed one meal per hour to bring his total to 12 just before 8 p.m. You’ll see in picture 2 that he is finished and out of there!
The grand total:
Wow! Hype man Lewis didn’t give us an update on whether Bruce immediately hit up Walgreens for Ducolax or note how Bruce was feeling the next day, but he’s clearly fine.
“Bruce is a great man and good sport,”Lewis comments at the end of his email. “He serves our country in active duty National Guard.”
Thank you to everyone involved. Whataburger was able to recognize that the guys were just trying to have fun with each other and bring another bright spot in last-place fantasy football punishment.
OutKick is interested in your last-place fantasy soccer punishment. Fire away.
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