Funny storm drain names? Grate!

Oct. 1—Is there an orphan drain in your neighborhood?

It is simple to adopt a drain. It helps prevent flooding and reduces pollution. It is also good for the environment.

It’s almost as rewarding as naming your adoptive drain.

The Adopt-a-Drain Program was created more than a decade ago at Hamline University’s Center for Global Environmental Education. The program has been joined by communities in four states. Nearly 9,000 people have signed up to clean and maintain more than 16,000 storm drains. Volunteers have removed more than 300,000.00 pounds of trash from storm drains throughout Minnesota in the past year and a quarter. This trash would have been able to pollute the Mississippi River watershed.

People who adopt drains will be asked to keep their neighborhood drains clear of litter and debris, and spend approximately 15 minutes checking on their drains twice a month.

The program is offered to Rochester. You can check to see if drains near your home are available to adopt at the program website at

You can also see the names of other people’s drains. It’s worth looking at the names of some of these adopted drains.

There are many Dwayne or Duane puns, a few Purple Drains, and various Drainy McDrain Face versions.

Pop culture references include nods at the sewer dwelling killer clown from Stephen King’s “IT”With “Here Lies Pennywise”Shetland Place Northwest “IT Doesn’t Live Here”on Colleen Street Northeast.

Game of Thrones has several representations “Daenerys Stormborn, First of her Drain”17th Street Northwest. (I would have gone with Daenerys Stormdrain if I had the time.) There are “Trogdor the Drainenator”For fans of old-school internet humor, visit Fifth Avenue Northeast

Some names are good in pairs or groups:

“Ole” “Lena”14th Street Northwest

“Bert” “Ernie”Fourth Avenue Southeast

Continue the story

“Fred” “Ethel”8 1/2 Avenue Southeast

“Alvin” “Simon”Eighth Avenue Southeast is home to Theodore, though there are no Theodores nearby.

There are many other funny names with puns or jokes that populate this map.

“Sewer, I hardly knew her”Southwest at Seventh Avenue

“Alexander the Grate”23rd Avenue Northwest

“Roady Hole”21st Avenue Northwest

“Moist Von Lipwig”Southwest, 7th Street

“Drano”Third Street Southeast

“Shania Drain”on Manorwoods Drive Northwest.

A few people acknowledge the work that students do to keep stormwater runoff out of drains and clean them. Yes. “Lincoln School rocks”(Lincoln Elementary, Eighth Avenue Southeast) and John Adams Middle School, with its dry drain named. “John Adams.”

Did any of these make your stomach churn? You think you can do better? Adopt a drain, and you can sink your best name into the water.

John Molseed, a tree-hugging Minnesotan transplant, is making his way through his passport of state parks. This column features stories about people doing their part to keep Minnesota green. Send questions, comments and suggestions to [email protected]

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